


Sburb Patch Notes

by anonymousComrade



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Forum Posts, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-03
Updated: 2011-08-03
Packaged: 2017-10-22 04:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/233890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymousComrade/pseuds/anonymousComrade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reactions to Sburb version updates, bugfixes, and other patches from the official forums.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sburb Patch Notes

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually pretty ancient. Like, from February. But I never cross-posted it here (it was originally posted on the MSPA forums) so here it is, because fics treating Sburb like a game are turning into a thing
> 
> A thing I will never get tired of

Originally Posted by **Skaian Labs**  


> The upcoming April update will bring all kinds of new fun to Sburb, and today, the dev team is proud to unveil one new feature planned for implementation in April.
> 
>  **Multi-Specibus Weapons**  
>  Alchemizing new gear always seems to be a priority among players, and nothing offers tantalizing new possibilities quite like a new weapon to bash foes with! Sadly, many players alchemize a new weapon, spending thousands of units of multiple types of Grist, only to find the end result isn't compatible with their strife specibus, and the weapon they had so looked forward to wielding ends up being given to a friend, or worse, scrapped altogether.
> 
> Well, no more! Starting this April, players will find many of their alchemized weapons can be allocated to more than one type of strife specibus. This change will include legendary-class weapons, blowing the doors open to all kinds of new strife-related possibilities. We can't go into too much detail, but we can reveal that we'll be doing something gloveKind users have wanted for a long time. That's right, the legendary chainsawKind weapon Gator Tooth will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!
> 
> Stay tuned for more version update previews!

Originally Posted by **Sburbian**

> Originally Posted by **Winnie the Poop 2**
>
>> Originally Posted by **Sburbian**
>>
>>> Originally Posted by **autonomousArctangent**
>>>
>>>> Originally Posted by **MadJack**
>>>>
>>>>> "Gator Tooth will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!"
>>>>> 
>>>>> FUCK
>>>>> 
>>>>> YES
>>>> 
>>>>   
> 
>>>> 
>>>> hahaha seriously SL? this is the best you can do? no wonder this fuckin game's dying, you keep pandering to casuals
>>>> 
>>>> WoW killer my ass
>>> 
>>>   
> 
>>> 
>>> Jesus Christ, AA, why do you still play this game? Every fucking update you're always bitching, "SL's ruining Sburb" this and "the game was better before they implemented dreamselves" that and _urrrrgh_
>>> 
>>> This just in: people have been using the same fucking weapons for years. Hell my character's hammerkind and even I'm getting tired of looking at my WoZ, if Piston Fists get doublespecced into hammer I'm looking forward to giving those a try.
>> 
>>   
> 
>> 
>> why the fuck would you use piston fists over zilly/fna? zilly/fna gives you all the dps of zilly with fna's stun effect
> 
>   
> 
> 
> Piston Fists with the right spec gives you four attacks per round; with the right buffs, I've seen people stunlock fucking Greater Shoggoths. I mean yeah it takes longer to kill them that way and I probably wouldn't do it in a group but for solo? Fuck yes I would get myself a pair of PFs.

Originally Posted by **Skaian Mike**

> Originally Posted by **autonomousArctangent**
>
>> Originally Posted by **Gamblin' Man**
>>
>>> Originally Posted by **Sburbian**
>>>
>>>> Originally Posted by **deathApproaches**
>>>>
>>>>> Originally Posted by **hella jeff**
>>>>>
>>>>>> Originally Posted by **thaSnazzle**
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> well this is just fucking great. I finally had enough grist to build a Ribbitar and right after I made the damn thing, this fucking preview goes up on the forums. why the fuck would anyone build an SR when Chain Sawd is obviously going bladekind next update, costs half the grist to build and a quarter of the boondollars to buy at the auction house, and has better dps to boot?
>>>>>> 
>>>>>>   
> 
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> because alchemizing a double-bladed scarlet ribbitar needs TWO of them, and as far as anyone can tell that's still one of the best weapons in the game for doublebladekind users.
>>>>> 
>>>>>   
> 
>>>>> 
>>>>> Snazzle's got a point though, some things are going to be completely pointless after this update. What diceKind user is going to trust the Flourite Octet when they can dip into hammerKind and make the more reliable Roll For Initiative? Who the hell is even going to allocate clawKind if its entire catalog is covered by gloveKind? Or halberdKind when every halberd can be equipped with spearKind or axeKind?
>>>> 
>>>>   
> 
>>>> 
>>>> No way they're making RFI dicekind, it's just a hammer with d20s for heads. At its core it's still just a big hammer.
>>>> 
>>>> It wouldn't surprise me if they folded some specibi into others though. I could see all clawkind users being switched to gloveKind, and halberdkind revoked and its users given a free strife allocation.
>>> 
>>>   
> 
>>> 
>>> "just a hammer with d20s for heads"? the fuck you say? RFI kicks ass and its random damage bonuses are all kinds of fun, shit's like using G&W in Smash Bros
>> 
>>   
> 
>> 
>> spoken like a true noob who never had the talent to go for a zilly. you WOULD like RFI you stupid bastard
>> 
>> (USER WAS INFRACTED FOR THIS POST)
> 
>   
> 
> 
> This is your final warning, AA. One more crack like that and I swear you're out of here.

**Author's Note:**

> First one to catch all the references gets a shiny boondollar
> 
> Seriously though, treating Sburb like an actual videogame and imagining what Sburb forums are like is all kinds of fun
> 
> I might do more of these later, I've got some ideas
> 
> But nothing with nested quotes anymore, because damn are they ugly
> 
> Sorry about that

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [tentacleTherapist's SBURB Walkthrough v6.0 (December 4, 2011)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/277924) by [liquidCitrus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquidCitrus/pseuds/liquidCitrus)




End file.
